Wiebke (wiebke) wrote,
Wiebke
wiebke

Out of sorts, weird dream

For the past couple of weeks I've been feeling kind of out of it, like I'm sliding into some behaviors, like sloppiness and sleepiness, that I really don't want to slide into. Can't put my finger on it exactly -- although I tried to when talking with my head doctor last week -- but it's definitely there.

Some of the symptoms are 1) sleepiness, 2) degree of laziness and avoidance as regards Metro Girl (though not regular Emory) work, 3) untidiness, 4) memory-blanking, 5) feeling I'm in a dream, 6) headaches, and 7) an appetite that is just not healthy. I keep wanting five servings of everything and have to keep a supply of gum or mints around so I don't eat everything in sight.

One other big thing is "passing out" at bedtime and some other times, like after coming home from shopping or something. I put this in quotes because I'm not passing out as in having a blackout or something, but rather I'm crashing out on the bed when I have no plans to and then afterward, I can't really remember deciding to do so. Like last night around 11, I was sitting up in bed doing a crossword puzzle and I remember closing my eye, but that's about it. I woke up later, around 1:45, and the lights were still on, I was still dressed, and Luckie was there headbutting me, like "What the hell?"

I don't *think* this is a return of depression, though it could be some twist on it.

--

Meanwhile my dreams have been especialy weird lately. Last night, between the time I "passed out" and then woke up again, I dreamed I was having to go through elementary school again. (Classic dream, had that a million times.) I wasn't a kid, I was still me as I am now, but for whatever reason I and others were having to go through it all over again. So there I was in second grade, having the dream-like experience of not being able to find my classroom, my schedule, my cubbyhole. Then we were all in a classroom and I discovered that the desks we have are way, way too small for me to fit in. (In actual fact, when I was in second grade for real, I didn't fit in any of the desks and was given a teacher's aide desk.) However, when I complained, the teacher acted like it was my fault for being too big, so I was just going to have to deal with it. This is when I realized I was wearing a skirt and had forgotten my underwear. Since I was sitting at a weird angle kind of on top of the too-small desk, half the class was looking up my skirt and giggling.
Tags: depression, dreams, health, nap, sleep
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