November 22nd, 2002

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Wendy Darling Are you tired of being short?

I shouldn't ever let spam make me smile BUT today I got this email, done a graphic that goes...




OMG, yeah RIGHT, what the F is that, make me taller?! While you're at it, give me some of that stuff to improve my brain power and memory and act as the female viagra.
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No, it is NOT cold!!!!!

After being in Georgia six years, I was starting to think I'd lost some of my Northern edge -- that absolute disdain for Southern weakness and thinness of culture and that stubborn, cocky notion that I have strength and power that no mere Southerner could ever acquire. I was starting to like sweet tea and started saying "rowt" instead of "root" when talking about highways and buses. I even started to think I was losing a grip on the temperature thing... but NO, after the latest "cold snap" here in Atlanta, I am assured that I am not losing my edge, Southerners are just complete WUSSES.

I swear, today it was a blustering November day -- seemed like a normal November day to me. What do you expect -- it's November! So it was cool. Not bikini weather, not shorts weather. You needed a jacket. But you didn't really need gloves. You could make it without a hat, as long as you had a decent amount of hair. I walked in to work wearing my red dress (see picture), which goes half-way up the thigh. Wore my high black boots but I was still basically walking with my legs exposed. Fine with me! I wasn't cold -- but of course I had like 10 people say, "Oh, my God, aren't you freeeeezing!" And all day long, had to listen to people going, "God, it's cold outside!" and "It's freeeeeeeezing!" and "You going out -- better bundle up, it's a killer out there!"

Sorry, folks, maybe this is what the South calls cold, but it is not BONE-CHILLING -FREEZE-YOUR-FRICKING-FINGERS-OFF, BREATHING-ICY-FIRE, CAN'T-FEEL-YOUR-FRICKING-FEET-HANDS-OR-FACE COLD!!!!!! If I'm walking and I can feel my hands, feets, face, the air doesn't hurt my lungs, my face doesn't feel like alcohol is being rubbed on an open wound, then it's not REALLY cold and it's fine for being outside.

The Southerner's idea of experiencing winter is walking to the car wearing a down jacket and ear muffs.


Excuse me while I go indulge my superiority complex but GAH! I find the whole "It's so cold" thing a major MAJOR irritant...
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The 1900s

Back in 2000, I had this idea to write up a bit of a compilation of what had happened to me throughout the 20th century, like year by year kind of, just to gather up memeories. I never did finish it, but I have enough to share. To start off with, let me offer the shortest bit...

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