March 2nd, 2003

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High anxiety

I went over Caleb's for dinner, with the prospect of later going out for ice cream. This evolved into having dinner and then helping him survive an allergy attack followed by a massive anxiety attack :( He used to have those all the time when we first met and I always used to take care of him and get him out of it. Tonight I had to use the full bag of tricks. The best thing was a foot and leg massage I did with a lot of heavy, steady pressure on the tendons on the back of his legs. He was cold and shaking all over, thought he was going to throw up. All the while I was working on projecting calm steadiness and peace, which is what fills me now, thanks to all my spiritual exercises. I really wish I could find the "Off" switch on the attack. I told him, Scarlett style, "Tomorrow is another day" and "Things don't have to stay the same" so hopefully tomorrow he will be able to confront some of the things that have caused him problems. Poor dear.
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    "For Jesse Bernstein"
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Heaven knows I'm miserable now

I seriously have to wonder if it's normal to be this sore and tired all the time. I can handle superficial exertion, even walking, but there is this bone-deep weariness and aching pain in my joints like nothing I've ever dealt wiht. I feel like I've been tapped out by something or someone. I don't even know if sleeping is really the fix I need. Maybe sleeping for a week, but maybe that would just make it worse. Lately I always feel worse waking up than I feel going to bed -- like I've been beat up or that my bed is some kind of torture device. I wish I could sleep in a jet spa.
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    sore sore
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Somebody say Gesundheit!

I just sneezed 15 times in a row. Now, it's normal for me to sneeze a minimum of 5 times at a time and I know I've done as many as 10 in a row but 15!? I really need to vacuum!
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Gay Channels

OK, and now for a post nobody will understand except me, a Sime/Gen fan or somebody who read my recent RANT on the subject...

Found this on a Sime/Gen fan site as part of a humor column they do:

The Gen of the Week's
Top Ten Reasons there are No Gay Channels:
#10. Klyd hadn't gotten to know Hugh well enough by the time the auction scene was written.
#9. Channels were designed with all the characteristics somebody thought sounded glamorous and heroic, and somebody didn't think gayness sounded glamorous and heroic.
#8. Because their heads explode. (really!)
#7. There are plenty of gay channels. It's only heterosexuality that's vigorous-but-intermittent.
#6. "Gay" means happy, and most of the channels in the books are morose and depressed.
#5. There are no gay channels because the Queen didn't believe in them.
#4. Why do you think Ercy's dorm burned down while she and her friend were "experimenting"?
#3. There are no gay channels because the only channels who ever got far enough in transfer mathematics to be able to understand the energy flow characteristics are too busy for sex.
#2. There are no gay channels because there are no straight Donors.
And the #1 reason there are No Gay Channels:
#1. Gen women stopped responding to the "I'm a Gay Channel" pickup line.

Incidentally, by the time of the third book, Klyd and Hugh admit they have an "orluen" but there is still no sexual thing going on between them, *sigh* and Hugh seems to be hot for several different women. Oh, well -- guess I'll have to create a slashy partnership myself!
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    amused amused