Writer's group last night was a bit of a bummer. Not only was the turn out really low, but there were only two stories, Bil's and mine, up for discussion. Of all of us, I was the one only who'd read Bil's prior to the meeting -- Dorjan and Joy just crammed for it while we watched a Buffy re-run.
As for my piece, which was the first couple of chapters of Breeding Discontent, three of them had read it but I didn't feel I got the same quality of feedback as usual. I was also frustrated because while I had asked them to tell me which bits of the Wraeththu world didn't immediately make sense, I was surprised as the sorts of things that threw them off. The problem is, we do want to make the story accessible to people who haven't read the other books, but on the other hand, we don't want to have to insert a sentence saying "....hara, a hermophroditic species that came into being after the fall of mankind." One of the things that seemed to most confuse the readers were the "harlings" -- Bil didn't know what they were, if they were the same species or a different tribe. He guessed they were probably children but he wasn't sure. They wanted clarification on what they looked like, their ages (and the fact harlings age 2x as fast as humans is confusing), and Joy thought Pansea was solicitating Ashmael for sex. Oh bother!
If there is anyone reading this who has not read Wraeththu but considers themselves good editor, not afraid to make any comments they like, let me know because I (and Mercredi, my co-writers) would realy value an "outide" reader, at least on these opening chapters.
So is there such a thing as a depression attack, i.e. depression that literally comes down on you like a guillotine blade? I'm not talking about finding out news or some actual circumstance that causes you to get depressed, I mean nasty for-no-apparent-reason depression. Because I'm having that right now and I've had it before. It's just like an anxiety attack except it's this suddenly wallop of depression that lands on me (sometimes, like today, along with a huge cracker of a headache) to the point where I can barely keep from crying, even though there is NO reason for me do so. I feel just as bad as if somebody died or I failed a test, only there's no reason, there's no reason, there's no REASON!
The weirdest thing...
Finally figured out the problem I'd be struggling / on the edge of tears with at work. I had felt so, so bad and was about to go home then, like magic, headache went away and I was suddenly able to figure it out, get moving on it and finally get done! I then showed the interface to the two developers and they were both like "Wow! That is really NICE!" After all the crap I'd gone through doing it, I had lost any objectivity or faith in it. I worked on it some more after that and I was distinctly CHIPPER!
Now I'm home after having the most yummy Vietnamese noodle bowl I picked up from the coffeeshop on the way home. Yummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm! Headache is still there, barely, but I am not crying anymore.