August 9th, 2003


In Memory of Kevin

A week ago, a good friend of mine at work lost her husband. Kevin was 46 years old and for three years had battled cancer, mainly pancreatic cancer, which is oftentimes a killer, as it is hard to treat and when the pancreas and related organs are not working, it is an extremely painful and difficult thing.

Kevin was an amazing man (see the obituary), however, and up until even a couple of months ago, he was coming in to work a few hours a week (he was a professor at Georgia Tech) to take care of his students and tie up loose ends. His wife, my friend Lea, is an amazing woman as well. She made sure that even though Kevin was terminal, having been told about a year ago there was no hope, his last months were as good as they could possibly be. She has been on reduced hours for many months and together they went on long weekends so they could have special times together. People at work arranged to take meals to their home on a regular basis so they could have company and not have to worry about food. Lea was able to find good home hospice care in the past few weeks so that she could go out at times when he would otherwise be too weak to take care of himself.

Finally about three weeks ago, Lea took a leave of absence because things got very bad. He died last Saturday and I'm sure he was surrounded by family. There will not be a funeral, because he is being cremated, but there will be a "celebration of live" service next week at the GT Students Center. I'm sure there will be a big crowd.

Afterward we will all be working to support Lea, who has actually formulated plans for the future, because she knew if she didn't it would be all the more devasting. Lea is in her mid-30s and is planning to continue on, as Kevin would have wanted.
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    thoughtful thoughtful
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Sleeping Sickness

OK, well today the whole NOT SLEEPING thing has finally BIT MY ASS. Ugh. While I'm sure I could have used today to energetically clean my house, sort out bills, take care of the big client's project, and otherwise revel in the second-to-last day of Caleb's out-of-town-ness, I instead have been stuck in PARK because I am so freakin' tired. I managed to do Wraeththu chat this morning, then went over to coffee (where I SHOULD have had coffee) to see my neighbors. Then I got back here and wanted to work on the project but I just couldn't. I tried to watch TV, read, do anything instead but I was like a drunk driver. Finally I crawled into bed and had a nap for around two and a half hours. Anybody who knows me will tell you that's sign I'm just ILL because I normally dislike naps very much.

I woke up and found an email from Caleb complaining I hadn't called so I did. They are doing fine up there. Caleb is concerned I watered his "bog" of carniverous plants wrong and Daniel was telling me the let-down's of Boston (none of which have ever let me down), other than that all was OK.

Now I'm going to take a show, probably a really hot one, to wake myself up and get cracking on this project. Perhaps a can of cold, Atlanta-packed Coca-Cola would also assist... conveniently such is prepared.

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    groggy groggy
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please, don't let me puke

ughhhh... me not feel so good.

decided to make a real dinner, took out recipe for favorite curried tofu with chickpeas and tomato recipe. was making it, realized fresh tofu had gone bad, threw it out, decided to make it without it. to me, recipe tasted fine, but i think something else was actually rotten in it. maybe the tomatoes? i had thrown out about half the ones i had (caleb gave me a ton before he left, fresh from somebody's garden) and i thought they were ok, but something is making me really nauseous.

between that and still being so tired, i am going to bed NOW. tomorrow i will be up early, but now, being awake is just painful. i really hope i don't puke.
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    nauseated nauseated