well, i'm getting a little nervous. i asked my supervisor out to lunch today so i can tell her i'm leaving here so i can start my business FULL TIME. even though i'm giving FOUR months notice, i still feel bad about it. typical me. but if i keep putting it off (which i've been doing since i got here!) it won't happen and i'll just be complaining forever. i also know that as soon as i TELL my work, it will all become a lot more real and it'll make me commit to all the set-up work i have to do in order to be ready. so i should be looking forward to it but still, i'm nervous!
oh, and my supervisor is psychic. when i invited her to lunch and said i had to talk, she wrote me back ok but then: "I hope you're not going to tell me your business is booming, or your writing career has mushroomed and you're going to be reducing your time to 0?"
Today I took my supervisor Tonette out for lunch and delivered news she wasn't surprised to hear: I'm leaving this job to take my consulting company full-time! Actually I'm not leaving until January (a great relief to her, more prep time for me) but I had to get "the talk" overwith now, since in two weeks she's going on maternity leave.
Even though I had a whole wonderful memo written out, am confident in my plans, and realized she wouldn't be surprised, I was still really nervous about talking to her because though I'm not exactly thrilled with this job, I hate "abandoning" or "letting down" people. She really did take it well, though, and completely emphathized with me and why I would walk to work for myself, what sort of future I'd like. She's had similar ambitions herself. Right now she's going to have a think over it tonight and then tomorrow we'll go talk with our boss about how we're going to handle this switch, hiring a new person, whether or not I could hold my contract as only part-time/as-needed.
Anyway, I felt much better afterward, like a big weight had been lifted off and now I can go tackle preparations for the switchover and start really believing that, wow, this is going to happen! Yep, I'm going to be 29, self-empoyed and wealthy to boot. Now I just have to come up with good pickup lines, right?
So far I have to say that even though I totally missed their actual concert, I am enjoying the Cruxshadows' CDs quite a lot. One song in particular is just WAY to catchy but luckily I've got in on an extended EP so there are like five versions of it to enjoy. This song to me has the perfect combo of not only over-dramatic, poetic lyrics, it's got a sound to match. Can't provide a link to any song sample at the moment but here are those lyrics:
How's this for a great song lyric:
RETURN (COMING HOME)
I've seen the terrible and the struggle
I've felt the pain that hubris brings
I have tasted the wisdom of divinity
And the horrors of its sting
[ And though they tell you I am lost
And their words report my death is come
The Fates have left me breathing still
Very much alive
And though my mind is caught by battles
Fought so long ago
I return victorious
I am coming home
And if the paths that I have followed
Have treat against the flow
There is no need for sorrow
I am coming home ]
For the distance I have traveled
Upon an ocean of despair
Has led me back into your heart once more
An answer to a little prayer
[ CHORUS ]
[ CHORUS ]
Another song that's sunk its hooks into me is Winterborn, which is featured on the EP but will be on an upcoming album of theirs too. It has some fantastic lyrics... or at least, lyrics which appeal to me subjectively and come off really well how they're sung. (One funny thing is I first thought the main lyric was "I am winter corn" and was wondering if that was like winter wheat, lol.)
To me this band keeps making me think "Goth Pet Shop Boys" or "PSB + Red Flag," which is an excellent combo. Plus bands with amplified violins... Well, THAT is a turn on!