October 18th, 2003


The Take

Before I go and clear my dining room table, where I'd laid it all out, I decided to make a list of what all I managed to bring home from England.

cute black & red skirt from New Look || crinkled black PVC coat from Dorothy Perkins || Masquerade mask || 6 pairs of Marks & Spencer tights || London pocket streetmap book || long-burning candle from Bali, amazing dragon design || box Marks & Spencer Peppermint Creams || Boots coconut-almond shampoo || red hair gel || blue hair gel || Tony & Guy gold highlight shampoo || Garnier Fructus Style || Marmite || 6 editions of the original Inception magazine || 2 rare Storm poetry chapbooks || 2 copies Inward Revolution (gave 1 to Mercredi) || The Chosen and The Standing Dead (Ricardo Pinto novels) || Bewitchments (at trade rate) || Trebor mints || beaded black shawl || Very Best of the Smiths || MCMXC A.D. (Enigma) || Benadryl (not same as U.S.) || French lipstick

magazine for C & D (not naming it, 'cause haven't give it) || candy for C & D (see previous) || dark chocolate for Caleb || pants for Caleb || CD for Caleb || 2 bottles mint shampoo for Caleb || Dr. Who gift for Alan || mixed fruit candies for Mom

Breeding Discontent (IP) || hand-colored & designed scarf (Jess) || IP pen (IP) || eyemask (British Air) || Sainbury's coconut shampoo, conditional, shower gel, hand soap and soap bar (Storm & Jim) || Dark Cathedral (Freda Warrington) || original Inception sign

Never let it be said I'm not a shopper... or a good packer!!!!!
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sideview, obamame_sideview

Relationship mope

I've spent the afternoon alternating between picking stuff up and moping, wondering why Caleb hasn't called me about grocery shopping. I knew his claim he'd only be at work "a half hour" was bullcrap but now it's been like three hours and I'm wondering what's up. I have NO food in the house and to avoid knawing my fingers off, I just had a handful of slivered almonds... and it did NOT help!

Something else I am also moping about, spurred on by a Dear Abby column from a 13-year-old geek wondering why no boys like her, is the lack of any recent flirtatious activity. After the con, when the (mainly) American crowd was camped out at Storm's house drinking and chatting around the dining room table, we were talking about who'd flirted with whom and stuff. It occured to me the only person who'd flirted with me at all was Ricardo Pinto, which is rich since he's "married" to a man and gay anyway.

Other than that, as usual, I glittered and sparkled, got attention and all, just nobody was up to getting any closer. This is true in just about all social situations I can think of, from Outworlders events to parties I attend to anyplace. I see other people heading into Flirt Land while I am on my Island. Even though I guess I am not even looking for anything, it surprises me that my attitude apparently translates in such a way people pick up the "vibe" and just leave me alone. I guess I have Panthera-like properties?

Of course, there is the point that I was, hmmm, not very coincidentally, discussing with Ricardo, which is that I basically believe that only an extremely confident, intense, perhaps foolhardy person would really be suitable to court me and be my partner. And I'm not saying this in some superior, holier-than-thou way, I just know that I am attracted to extremes and things that are intense and not half-hearted. It is this very strong life force that I look for and it's very rare. Ricardo has it, Storm has it, Susy has it, even Caleb has it. And when I run into some who has it AND they are into me (no long-term relationship or being a gay man), then things maybe have a chance of happening. Assuming I don't run away screaming in fear!

P.S. Do you think listening to the Smiths all day is affecting this line of thought? *g*
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    The Boy With a Thorn in His Side
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Down to Heirth

Reading the lyrics book to Very Best of the Smiths, I was disappointed and surprised to learn that Morrissey is saying...

I am the son, and the heir...

and NOT

I am the sun and the earth...


I am the sun and the air...

Darn! I mean, I liked the idea of Morrissey being a force of nature! Guess his voice is just too darn smooth... He he at times, anyway.
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    surprised surprised