December 12th, 2003


Dreams... dreams dreams dreams

So last night was WEIRD dream night. Good news is, the main one I was having seemed to be actually meaningful, like the beginning of some sort of philosophy.

It's hard to piece it together in words, but essentially I had a dream about beings without limitations, who did not live inside labels, did not partition ideas, and whose physical bodies were not bags of flesh, but something completely sublimated to their souls.

The story I remember was something about this person/being who had grown up among "normal" people and had always been told that there was something wrong with him, like he was handicapped or retarded. Well, sometime or other, he goes on a trip and discovered this new group of people, who are I guess aliens, who reveal themselves and their nature. In so doing, they embrace this former "freak" as normal.

In my dream, I kept having visions or associations with eggplants or jellyfish, as if this is what these new people were like. Their bodies were not hominid and they didn't have a ton of parts or organs.

These people had a philosophy which ties in to a lot of other philosophies and spiritual beliefs I've read about or had, and they talked about it a lot. (Although "talked" may be a misnomer, as I kind of think they were telepathic.) Anyway, they kept talking about how all barriers are illusions, how people are not separate units but part of a whole. They said that if people continued to worry about the separateness of things, or strive againgst others (outside themselves), or treat others as separate, the world would continue to be filled with chaos. In order to achieve harmony, one must accept oneself as an undivided whole and accept that one is part of the people, part of the world, and act accordingly. These people felt sorry for the rest of the world, who are all caught in one big delusion, and while not going out an proslytizing, were adamant about making their case with people they thought needed to hear it.

So that was the philosophy dream. I seemed to be dreaming that a good bit of the night, as I woke up from it a few times.

Then the last dream I had was a dream I guess about my nephew Will. This is odd because I know I had a bad deformed baby dream the night before. Also, this morning I got an email from Mom all about how Will is finally back at home after 53 days at the hospital. I hope what I dreamed wasn't true. I dreamed something horrible about how I was put in care of this kid (who "was" Will, even though he was a baby as not 5 or 6 years old) and the kid had something wrong with him. The parents were gone and I was playing with him. Eventually they came home and were amazed at what I'd got the kid to do, supposedly things he couldn't. But then I guess all the excitement made the kid have to go poo. And he didn't have diapers, so my job was to take off his pants and hold him up as he EXPLODED all over some papers I'd brought into the bed with me. He had mega poo and it was gross. Good thing though, 'cause the parents were all cheering saying he hadn't gone poo in a week or more and now he was going to get better. Just... WEIRD.
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ice cream

Geek pun!

I was on a ladder hanging streamers for a workplace baby shower when I said to Jay, the database/server admin helping me by handing me the streamers and tape:

Jay, you're the streaming media server.

*he he*
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    amused amused
ice cream

Google alert

I love Google, we all do I think, but FYI, new feature they've added some of you might be concerned about:

Google has implemented a new feature wherein you can type someone’s telephone number into the search bar and hit enter and then you will be given a map to their house.

Think about it — if a child, single person, ANYONE gives out his/her phone number, someone can actually now look it up to find out where he/she lives from anywhere in the country and without even knowing their full name! The safety issues are obvious and alarming! This is not a hoax; Mapquest will actually put a star on your house on your street.

In order to test whether your phone number is mapped, go to: Google and type your phone number in the search bar with dashes (i.e. 555-555-1212)and hit enter.

NOTE: If your phone number is not publicly listed, you should be fine.

If you want to BLOCK Google from divulging your private information, simply click on the telephone icon next to your phone number.You will see a link where you are allowed to REMOVE yourself. (Link:

Got it from a web site and tested it on myself -- it's true. I'm not removing myself though, since my info is already everywhere and I also think my safety is safe.
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    tired tired

Ugh, what a way to end Friday

OK, I have rejoined the world of the living!

Seriously, we had a baby shower at work with presents and food and stuff, and then afterwards, within about 10 minutes, I felt sick. First I was just tired and thought it was just eating some heavy food, but then I got a headache and felt all woozy. I couldn't concentrate on my work at all, couldn't look at my monitor straight or get my brain to work. I literally sat and slept at my desk for five minutes, then shook myself and wandered around the office. I had a 20-minute conversation with a co-worker about SF novels, which made me feel a bit perkier, but back at the desk, I found I could barely switch apps! I went and got a Diet Coke, but I was to TIRED to drink it!!!!! (Drank 1/2 can, how stupid.) Finally, right around 4, I got this strong instinctive feeling of "I MUST LEAVE!"

So I put a note on the in/out board and left. I felt so horrible on the walk to the bus stop. I was so TIRED I thought about going back to the office and getting a ride. Freaky. (I had a real laugh at myself joking how this immense tiredness sounded way too much like pregnant-tired, funny since I've had wrong-time-of-month cramps all week. Luckily I know I am NOT.) So I stagger to the bus stop, about 3/4 mile away and then I have the BUS RIDE FROM HELL because I swear, I spent the entire trip trying very hard not to puke. The feeling got worse and worse, to the point I took out my newspaper and laid out the Sports and Auto sections on the seat next to me so if I heaved it'd be easier for MARTA to clean up. Ew! I took a lot of deep breaths, which made it worse, so I started doing short shallow quick breaths, which eased the nausea... but made me feel like I was having a panic attack!

15 minutes later, I got off the bus and, nausea under control, went straight home and, aside from obligatory toilet stop and turning on some Chopin, STRAIGHT TO BED. I crawled in and conked out from 4:30 to 6. Even though when I first went to bed I felt so yucky I put a bucket out. But as it turns out, when I finally woke up, I felt a bunch better. I'm now going to have some coffee, maybe a bit of food and go out to Lenox Mall. I really hope I don't feel pukey again; hopefully that's past!

I don't have a fever at least, so hopefully this isn't some flu attack or whatever.
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    sick sick
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