Oh, dear, I seem to be having a melt down.
I got SO frustrated with something at CAP today, this stupid latest version of WebTrends can eat my shit! On top of that, having to deal with that and other client small jobs has kept me from doing my major project, for Mat Man.
Then I got into a fight with PetSmart's online buying system (it played sneaky tricks on me with free shipping) and then I had trouble finding the right replacement air filters. Then Caleb called me and I got in a fight with him about the Petsmart thing, which was partially my fault because I was just so MAD about it and got really defensive.
Finally did find my filters, and bought them, which was good, and then Interland called and I bought a domain for a client... but THEN I had to spoil it all by deciding to take the grate off my AC/CH unit to look into the vent... and wouldn't you know now I can't get the stupid thing back on.
I tried and tried, and tried SO HARD not to get upset or cry (like girl, "Boo hoo, I can't do handyman work!"), but eventually I did. I ran around the house bawling, holding a hammer (which I'd used to try to bust the thing back on) and thinking about smashing windows or maybe my head. I was so upset, and it didn't even have anything to do with the filter, I just know it doesn't. It's some hormonal thing, I'm flipping out and hysterical. I know this because I used to get like this A LOT. I used to get this like IN PUBLIC, have huge melt downs in the middle of malls or Wal-Mart or the dorm hallway.
What I'd really like right now is a LOT of ice cream or chocolate or a good tickle. (I hate being tickled, but I know it'd distract me.) I think the best thing for me would be to just WALK AWAY from trying to do anything, and instead just read or watch TV or something.
Just got an email. Another web site wanted. Man, what do people think I am? A web designer? This one is for a Florida-based warehousing company. I actually would like to do some industrial design I guess...
Well, I think tonight worked out well. I decided I needed to go on a mini-vacation, without leaving home. I "went away" from all this stuff I've been doing, mainly work, needless to say, and did other stuff. Caleb did come and fix my vent, that was nice. Then I ate some comfort food, drank, painted, read some fan fic, and then finally got all the lights down, lit some candles, and sat down in the near-dark with my PalmPilot and worked on my current Wraeththu story. Been neglecting it for a few weeks, got back in the groove for editing and then added on a new part I really like. Hopefully tomorrow I can get another bit done. The anticipation is driving away my melancholy! Yay!