March 17th, 2004



Hey, I just discovered pellsfan (a.k.a. Paula) now has an LJ! Whoo hoo! I've been missing her for months. She seems to have cooked up some corned beef. The thought of it is making me hungry, to the point I'm seriously thinking of cooking up some cabbage and mustard sauce right about now...
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    happy happy

Here we go again...

It's the middle of the month and once again, this time of the month is finding me feeling some anxiety about my finances. I really need to make a bit more money for myself. I'm not doing too badly really, but with my mortgage and other expenses, what I need each month is a few hundred dollars less than what I'm able to pay myself. And so the pattern is that at the start of each month, I pay myself and that's 5 steps forward, but during the month (esp. at the end) I pay my bills and it's 6 steps back. If the pattern holds, I'll run through my personal cash, which would definitely not be good -- in fact, that'd be a major disaster. I'd have to borrow money from my business for the mortgage, God knows what, I'd have to get a job. It's scaring the crap out of me! On the other hand, if I could just manage to make about $1000 from my business a month, I wouldn't have to worry. Time to go rattling my saber...
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    LotR: RotK
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Body Thoughts

OK, evidently my mind needed to chew some gum, because it started its own meme:

Strongest Muscle in My Body
Probably my tongue! He he. Also whatever ones control my jaws :) For regular muscles, my legs are by far the strongest things I've got. My arms are pathetically weak (and always have been) but that's OK by me since I never do anything that requires them, besides sometimes holding on to 10 grocery bags with one finger (city-borne talent).

Most Variable Body Part
My hair. To me, it doesn't seem I change the color THAT often, but everybody else disagrees. I guess a lot of people probably color their hair as much, but they simply don't change the color, just do the same over and over.

Where's The Fat?
Tummy and hips and lower back. The fat that bugs me the most is on my hips. I swear, my underwear hurt me now, the fat is totally in an inconvenient spot.

Skinny Bits
Since I have no butt -- muscle or fat -- this is probably the "skinniest" part of me.

Best Feature
This is what got me started on this post -- got asked this by a personal service. I guess this would be my hair. My eyes are nice but I think people would be much more bound to notice my hair -- or my eyeglasses -- before my eyes. The hair is crazy...

Worst Feature
I have about 40 pairs of tights right now and the reason for this is that unless I'm wearing pants, I wear tights. I'll even wear tights with shorts sometimes. My legs have a good shape but they are really not attractive things -- hairy, spider vines, almost-varicose veins, dry skin. Just BOGUS, IMO.

I'm pretty unscathed, just a few odd scars here and there. Got a big pockmark next to my nose and some lighter ones on my forehead, from a horrendous bout of chickenpox I had. Fingers on my left hand have bunch of scars from a bike accident I had involving a stone wall. My left forearm has a scar where I cut it with a razor once by accident.

Farsighted. Got glasses when I was around 12. actually have only a pretty mild problem. I *never* wear my glasses when I'm at the computer or reading, since I don't need them. I do need to read them to see any signs (classroom blackboards, street sighs) or watch TV. Mainly I have them on all the time unless I'm reading or working. I've had contact lenses a couple of times. They don't work out because I don't need help all the time and because of my allergies.

I've never been tested for it, but I'm aware my hearing is somewhat shot. Lot of the damage came from the hardcore/punk live shows I went to in college. For several years afterward I had tinnitis (horrible high-pitched sound in my ear) but it's gotten better. Experiments and observation tells me that there's swatch of sound that is quite reduced in my hearing -- instead of hearing the sounds I sort of hear white noise :( I'm sure headphones haven't helped either and the allergies I have also stuffed them up. At least my hear is WAY better than my mom's!

Owing to several factors, my sense of taste is definitely messed up. It's something to do with whatever makes my breath so bad, plus I've burned my tongue a LOT -- probably killed off my taste buds! I like a lot of foods with a very STRONG (and often "unpleasant") taste, like extremely salty, very sour, etc. Examples include salted licorce, sour pickles, wasabe (can eat a tsp. w/o much effect). I can taste subtle stuff too but I think I am missing something.

Sense of smell is either something I lost or never had much of. In high school our chemistry class spent a class doing esthers (sp?), chem combos that smell, and I couldn't smell them -- and my nose wasn't clogged. For one, everybody left the room saying it stank so bad, but I stayed there b/c I dind't smell it. There are many "fragrant" flowers I absolutely can't smell at all (so I like ones like hyancinth you can't miss). Weird. The fact that a couple of my favorite smells are sulphur and sewage also makes me question what is UP with my nose.

I guess this is the one sense that's probably totally OK, but nobody ever touches me, alas! LOL

Stupid Human Tricks
Most obvious one is the "W" :) I can sit down on the floor and put my legs out sideways, bent, *flat* to the floor, so they form the shape of a W / M . I can also do this and bounce across the floor that way, or I can do this and lean all the way back. It doesn't hurt me at all either. My mom says me and my sisters have some bone/joint absnormality in how our thighs are attached, so they don't line up normally and instead let us maneuver with weird angles. Related tricK: I can also stand up on one leg and stick the toe of my other leg in my armpit by bending it up (into half a W.)
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    bored bored
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Well, it seems I'm on a run of impulses...

Last night around 12:15 I decided to cook some cabbage and while I was doing that, I saw I had some zucchini and made zucchini bread... which takes over an hour! I read a book and cleaned up the cooking mess while it baked.

My most recent impulsive decision was to suddenly get dressed up like some kind of Aurenen hippy pirate, with long curly wig, paisley shirt, several scarves hooked on to my belt, sandals... *smirk* Let me just say I've been doing this sort of Nightrunner roleplay thing, developing a plot (for what purpose, I don't know) and got this idea that it'd be cool to have a costume going on.
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    geeky geeky
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(no subject)

starting to panic about my trip starting to panic about my trip starting to panic about my trip starting to panic about my trip starting to panic about my trip starting to panic about my trip starting to panic about my trip starting to panic about my trip...

ugh. must try to stop it 'til tomorrow.

starting to panic about my trip starting to panic about my trip starting to panic about my trip starting to panic about my trip starting to panic about my trip...
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    anxious anxious
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A ha! So that's what I've been doing wrong!

I was a bit early for my bus tonight, on the way to writers' group, and managed to find time to really think about just what's going wrong with my business or, to be more positive, what needs improvement.

It seems to come down to one thing and it is this: I need to WORK more. Not that I've been lolling about doing nothing, but it seems like lately I only work when I *have* to, so sometimes I'll only really work 2 hours in the morning, 3 in the afternoon and a couple hours late at night. Sometimes it's less than that. These are *not* 8 hours days.

And sure, I don't really *have* 8 hours of work to do BUT there is a need for me to work -- on stuff like getting more clients, doing my marketing brochures, learning new tools. I can't work 4 hours a day and spend the rest of the time on personal stuff. No matter what I'm charging per hour or what the project fee, at this time, that just isn't realistic.

I've exercised a lot of discipline in managing my time (daily agenda printed out for every weekday), but thinking it over, I think it's still not enough. I think at least for the time being, being stricter about how many hours I'm going to work a day is something that will help my business. It's to my benefit to get projects done faster, to push my clients along, rather that just being all relaxed about it. And I should be spending time selling myself too, because I *need* to. Then, when I've successfully got enough clients, I won't need to worry about goofing off because I won't have so much opporunity!

My business isn't the only thing that will benefit from this, however. I think my writing will as well. I pretty much feel that it's HAVING SO MUCH TIME that's put me off writing. I think I need the pressure of work to build up a feeling of wanting, *needing* to write. When I keep my schedule too thin, I get complacent, too contented, and I don't feel so compelled to escape into fantasy worlds where I control stuff. But if I made myself sit down and work every weekday, I'm sure at night my head would be all about writing.
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    thoughtful thoughtful
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Rough Biblio

I was looking at teriel's web site and saw he had a bibliography. This sort of got me thinking how I should have one too, listing all my stories, essays, etc. I worked on this for around 1/2 hour tonight, just getting the easy stuff, and it's quite a list!

Collapse )

This is still rough, both because of all I know is missing and the fact I need to put in direct links to all those things in Inception.

Still to be added: editorials published in the Atlanta Journal-Constitution (I think there are like 8 of them), summary of opinon pieces & news article written for the UMass paper, various poems published, etc.

I also dearly wish I could add a certain other group of stories I've written but I guess I can't do that, publically. Pooh.
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    LotR: RotK