Oftentimes quizzes or just people I know will ask me if I have any big regrets, whether it's over things I did or didn't do or if it's something I did to another person. And I really always say no to this, because I can't think of any real horrible choices I've made or any time I've taken malicious action against a person or treated somebody really horribly.
Thinking on it today, I still feel that same way. Maybe I have a character flaw, for surely I should be expected to regret a few things, but really I don't feel it. I worry about doing the wrong thing and I worry about hurting people, but I avoid both and therefore don't wind up regretting.
About the only thing that does happen is running into people who accuse me of being mean or hurting them when I completely don't see what they're on about. I'll go over things again and again and just not be able to see where I've gone wrong. Sometimes I do find that whoops! I've screwed up, but sometimes I am left completely baffled. Finally I have to conclude it's just like when you're dealing with an abuser -- you can't always assume you're in the wrong just because somebody tells you you are. You can't assume the other person is sane. Still, I have tried -- I'm a good listener, too, and I'll bend over backwards to make things nice -- but at times really there is nothing you can do. People inflict pain and stress upon themselves and you can't really regret it because it has more to do with them than with you.
Just thought of just about the ONE thing I'm sorry over and her name is Susy. Not over things that happened, but over things that didn't happen, because I am too reticent.
The Mexican window team is at work again. Right now they're washing the actual glass on the window here in my office. To give you an idea how filthy they were, let me note that the first step in cleaning them is rubbing them with steel wool. After that it's a wet towel and then they go down to using Windex for the "fine work." It's possible that soon I will be able to discern whether it's raining or not without having to squint down to the puddles on the street or looking for it as it flies under the streetlights. Before there was so much muck on the glass rain would just blend in with it. Pretty neat!
It's often said that pets take after their owners and vice versa. Caleb has often noted the fact that both my birds and my guinea pigs are rather jumpy and aloof (esp. the birds) and according to him, Abbie "personifies" me.
Now I don't want to take this too seriously or literally, but I wonder if there is anything in fact that none of my animals like to play with toys.
Budgies are supposed to be curious birds who love to poke and chew and play with toys of all kids. Stores are filled with toys for them -- danging things, plastic balls, mirrors, swings, ropes, natural substances, etc. Pell and Cal, however, don't LIKE toys. Of all the toys I've introduced ot them over three years, they've played with exactly two of them. It's a thing with small robes with beads on them; only Pell will play with it. The other toy they liked at one time was some plastic rings I hung over a doorway. Every other "toy" has been either ignored or was perceived as terribly scary! Pell and Cal mainly enjoy chewing on wood or eating. That is all :>|
My piggies are even less playful. I've found tons of information on piggy playtoys -- most of them stuff you just find around the house. Abbie and YinYang just don't care. They don't like rags or stuffed animal or bells or balls or anything. Boxes and tubes get them most excited. And food. I know they are really not very smart animals, but I'm still a bit perplxed, when I read newsgrouops and people talking about their piggies and all their toys and fun things they do.
I know I sound like a paranoid mom worried her kid is behind the learning curve, but there you go, I guess I am :)
So my old supervisor at Georgia Tech called me today out of the blue wanting tocatch up -- and to see if they could hire me on for a short-term project.
Sadly, I had to turn it down because they need it done by end of the month (it's a fiscal budget issue) and she estimated the project would be "a small one" but still 40 hours. Given all the work that's fallen into my lap for this month, I didn't see where those 40 hours would come from.
I wanted to say yes, but I really just couldn't. Maybe if things were a little less crazy but as it is, with clients and Dragon*Con program deadline coming up June 30 as well and the trip to England early July, I just couldn't see taking on the design of an intranet.
If every working day of this month turns out as insanely busy as today I am going to lose weight purely from the fact I'm going to be like a hampster on a wheel without even a chance to eat!
Ha ha. I shouldn't worry, I always manage to give myself a break. But some working at night might be in order, just so I can bust through this jam.