October 23rd, 2004

ice cream

Moz Happy Joy Joy

Well, I survived a VERY enjoyable Morrissey concert, the only loss being my hearing, which probably happened somewhere during the first song, "How Soon Is Now?" which was just SHATTERING. I have no clue what those guys did on the guitars but it was the sound of the universe splitting open, like glass chords or something. Beaaaaaaaaaatiful but OUCH after 2 hours I had a whole "WHAT?!" thing going on!

Anyway, Caleb and I both really, really enjoyed the outing. Moz switched merrily between various phases of his career, so there'd be on from the latest album (You Are The Quarry, which I quite like), then the requisite Smiths, then his own solo work. Just like when I saw him 6 years ago, everything he did, he did with enthusiastic and lots of dramatic, Drama Queen hand gestures and posturing. (He is SUCH a faggot, damnnit, and I love it!) Shoplifters of the World united to sing along with practically every song, there was much hand-waving, Moz touched everybody in the front row several times, and at various points he threw himself down on the stage and was writhing around in dramatic despair. It was fab!

Oh, and he also got in some nice anti-Bush remarks and urged everybody to vote because "Anybody is better than him -- ever me!" LOL.

Thought his backing band was good -- he's got I think 3 guitarists, keyboardist, and a drummer, all quite powerful. Caleb thought this one guitarist Jesse was a hottie and after he pointed it out, I'd have to agree.

Moz's eyebrows were quite bushy and he changed his shirt THREE times, each time throwing it out into the crowd.

At the very end, during the encore, some fool boy jumped on stage to give him out of those fan-hugs-of-scariness and had to be dragged off, at which point Moz was almost done the song anyway so he just shook his head, finished the last line and let the band carry on with the last chords. Don't blame him since anything like that must be petrifying to a perfomer.

About the only song I really wish he'd play but didn't was "I Have Forgiven Jesus," which is my fav of his latest, but other than that, got to hear a lot of songs with heavy memories, emotions, and found myself smiling and feeling joyous throughout. So as always, Morrissey does not make me depressed at all, he makes me HAPPY.

When you say it's gonna happen "now"
well, when exactly do you mean?
see I've already waited too long
and all my hope is gone


No, my hope is NOT gone!
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Gasping for Breath, or What Happens If You Don't

For somewhere around a year I've had this strange health concern that for some time I though was psychological.

Basically, I have had this strong fear that I'm going to stop breathing!

I would be gripped by this fear mainly at night, when I'd be lying on my mad nodding off to sleep, only to find that over and over, I'd have this distinct feeling I was going to stop breathing. The sensation is quite odd and thus hard to describe, but basically, I would exhale and then suddenly feel no need to inhale. I'd have this feeling that I could just stop breathing and somehow be alive. This terrified me, because although if I'm awake I can force myself to breathe, what if I were to fall asleep and then quit breathing? I experimented with this a few times, letting myself stop breathing and then sort of sitting there in bed. I'd find that I would have no dire need to breath, which seemed spooky and unnatural. I thought, "What if I die thinking about how 'cool' this is?" I wouldn't let the experiement continue -- I'd force myself consciously to start up again.

This problem was a big one last year but seemed to have cleared up, which I assumed was stress-related, or just because I'd forgotten to be worried about it.

But then last night, it came back! The interesting thing is, I think I have found a reason not to worry about it so much, or at least to understand what's happening. When it happened last night, I discovered that if I just "gave in" to the impulse not to breathe, I don't actually stop breathing, but my breathing shuts down to almost nothing. What I think is happening is that my body switches to "sleep breathing," i.e. the respiration rate I have when I'm asleep, only I'm still awake so it scares the crap out of me. I wonder if this is because I'm so tired? Or is it some kind of apnea? I don't know how much you're supposed to breathe when you're asleep, but I've long known that I don't do it much. Part of the reason I feel so wretched in the morning, I assume, is that I haven't had enough oxygen.

Is this healthy? I have no clue. I hope I don't have to deal with this every night as I fall asleep again though!
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Bona Drag

Inevitably, seeing Morrissey last night has led me to start going through his albums one by one. I listen to them (and the Smiths) a lot anyway, but I get this time I'm focusing more I guess :)

Anyway, first up for examination is Bona Drag from 1990, which is a comp album of his solo singles & B-sides up to that time. Brilliant stuff, with a slew of great lines and songs with mood settings that totally take me back to times and places.

Some of my favorites...

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There really aren't many songs I've skipped on this disc! Highly recommended!
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(no subject)

I think it must be a sign of the horrible quality of my nail polish (the chrome style) that I have just removed ALL of it just picking it off with my fingers, no remover needed. Sheesh. Now there's a pile of silver flakes on the office floor here. I should pick that up sometime... *Ponders*
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Team America: F*ck Yea

So this afternoon I went with malibran, cracicot and jesswired to see Team America. I enjoyed it and laughed a lot -- though I had to look away for a couple of scenes which were too gross for me. The puppets were amazing and I adored the music, esp. the country parody.

But forget what I thought and see what Roger Ebert said about it.

Basically it's a 1-star review that concludes that although the movie garners laughs, it lacks a clear message and simply exists to ridicule all sides in the War on Terror equally, plus offend everybody possibly by crossing any and all lines. He calls it "nihilistic."

Although I disagree with the 1-star rating (for me, probably 2.5-3), it's an interesting review, as is his review of the South Park movie, which I just looked up. I'm a big a fan of "South Park," but I think the laugh two paragraphs make a good point about current trends in movie entertainment:

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I appreciate the fact that the man isn't being curmudgeon here, but is actually thinking through these things and trying to figure out what it means that these things are out there in our popular entertainment. I laugh at this stuff -- whether it's violence, weird sex, body fluids, potty-mouthed children etc. -- but is it really funny? Is it good for us?
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