January 11th, 2005

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No wanna go work

I really don't want to go to Ga Tech today. How I WISH Shelley had indeed come back to the position again and I could be free of this. At this point I'm just sick of having a job where 2 FT people's work is pushed on me, when I'm only there 2 days a week. I can only do so much and most people end up thinking I'm slow, when in fact I'm working all the time on stuff. Ugh. *plugs nose in order to dive into the sh*t*
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Thought bubbles

To state the obvious: CNN International edition online is SO much more the sort of news I want to read, compared with regular CNN. Same with TV. In Germany we were watching CNN International and it was all tsunami news, but when we got home, regular CNN had already moved on. Now it's all about mudslides, while the International is still on the tsunami disaster. Although it does make sense for the US edition to cover US news primarily, the US edition is full of a lot of US-centered trash, scandal, celebrity crap that I find useless. If something is big enough news or a trend to run in tne Internatnional edition, it's likely more worthy of attention.


Went to my fav restaurant, Baraonda, for lunch. It is still good. And the waiters still remember me from back when I was going 2x a week. Had a huge wine glass of pear juice, yummy fresh bread with olive oil for dipping, and a roast vegetable and cheese sandwich on fresh baked bread. Was sorely tempted to order some gelato, but I am currently trying to exercise some discipline and only eat when I'm hungry. I think I may come by Thurs. or Fri. around dinnertime for a separate treat, however. Their chocolate-hazelnut is just too good.


Speaking of my diet plans, I am considering going to my regular doctor and asking for a referral to a dietician or similar type counselor, preferably someone at Crawford Long. I think if I had somebody to help me really "plan" and somebody to report back to regularly on my weight (instead of relying on myself, since I lie to myself), it would be really helpful.
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He he...

You scored as A MetroHomoSexual. Straight or really, really gay? Metro to the core, but it’s your outward appearance that’s most important. Narcissist? Hell no, you just want to look better and more expensive than everyone else.


A MetroHomoSexual


An AberHollisterAE Gay or Fratmo


Normal, Boring and Gay


A Closet Case


A Jock


What Kind of Gay Man Are You?
created with QuizFarm.com
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Writing Female Characters, Or Not

You know when you look at yourself at a funny angle and notice something about yourself you never noticed before? (I don't mean literally, like when you're in a clothing store and those dressing room mirrors show you the fat rolls on you back!) Well, I had one of those moments today and it hit me so hard I was left standing on a streetcorner going, "Huh!? What?! Really?!"

I was thinking about a couple of books I've read lately, the Horror and Fantasy volumes of the three-part Bending the Landscape story anthology, featuring genre fiction with GLBT themes. I read the third volume, Science Fiction, a year or two ago and really enjoyed it, but these other two have been far less satisfying.

Among the several things that bugged me about these two most recently read books is a certain type of story that repeats: the lesbian story. Now obviously, these books are going to have these stories since they ARE supposed to be GLBT in theme, but to me, the "lesbian" stories just are too lesbian! The problem being that the stories present a certain type of almost stereotypical woman with certain set longings, certain symbols, certain relationship issues, etc. that while I guess deeply personal to the writers who wrote them, to me just seem like cliche'. Like the several stories where lonely women in bad relationships with men find secret lovers in the woods or talk to ghosts of bygone women. Or women who bond with wolves or who end up masturbaring in fields, possessed by the power of the earth.

Now before I get accused of just not liking lesbian stuff (though heck, that may as well be true), let me say that heck, it's plenty OK for that stuff to be written. It just ain't my thing.

Which let to the thought that left me standing on the sidewalk, surprised. I thought to myself, "Well, I certainly wouldn't write women like that, even if they were lesbians!" Next I thought, "Hmm, maybe I should try to write a lesbian fantasy story and see how it turns out." Then: "Maybe just a story with a woman." After all, part of my problem with almost all the stories in these books with women is that the women just aren't how I would write women. My women would be different.

And then I started trying to think of examples of women characters I've written... and came up with nothing! No females! Those VC vampires and/or the people they turned to vampires were certainly all males, at least that I wrote about. Wraeththu are hermaphrodites, so they don't count exactly. Some of my Wraeththu stories have included human males. The one original short story I wrote with a woman ("The Crying Girl"> is entirely autobiographical. After a few minutes thought, I realized I did write two VC stories with original characters who were young girls, but they weren't grown-up women.

This surprises me the same way I was surprised when somebody in high school pointed out to me that the characters in Vampire Chronicles were, in his words, "all gay." I was so, so close to those books, so close I never noticed that until it was pointed out. Just like I'm so, so into my writing I didn't notice the lack of any women until I accidentally stumbled onto the idea.

I don't really have to delve deep to know why there are no women in my writing. I just have always, always naturally gravitated towards writing men, even reading about male characters. In my "talking plays" I'm always a man, never a woman. I'd rather play a male role in a regular play (and in fact I played a male character in several childhood theater productions and once did a mock-interview as Hamlet). The idea of playing around with female character is as alien to me as somebody handing me a football and saying "Let's play." I would have no clue what to do!

Of course, now I'm thinking it would be interesting to see what would come out of me trying to write a story with a woman or women in it. I half-suspect I'd write something horribly sexist or something where people would say "That woman is a man," because for me the option would be to either write women as annoyingly shallow and flighty (which to me they often are) or I'd write them to be more mannish, like me. There is an in-between, but that would be hard to capture. Maybe that's the challenge. I guess it would depends on the character, the story. Hmm. Always good to have a new challenge.
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Trips and Visits

So here is a quick run-down of trips and visits I expect this year:

February: 2 1/2 weeks visiting in Stafford, England, sort of a working vacation.
March: 1 week in NYC, doing Lunacon plus 3 days extra just for fun.
April: 17-year-old niece Ashley visiting me for a few days over spring break.
April: Sister Nancy staying with me for a few days while she attends a conference.
May: Weekend in Charleston, SC, for Spoleto (assuming we do go)
July: 1 week in Italy, couple days in Germany
December: 1 week for holidays with family in Massachusetts

I'm sure other stuff will come up. I'd like to take some other weekend trips, like to DC or Chicago. I also will probably set up a trip in the summer to visit my parents. I'd like to visit my brother Tom and his family in Vermont as well, though I have to figure out how to get there. It's probably expensive to get a flight to Burlington.

Can you tell I grew up living in the same house all through childhood and never went on vacation except to go wildnerness canoe camping? :)
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Movie Quotes Meme

I'm going to do this one and hopefully some people will try and guess the movies.

1. Pick one dozen movies that are ones that you have special feelings about.
2. Pick a few lines of dialogue that mean something to you.
3. As people guess the film, strike out that entry.
4. If possible, after the film is guessed, explain why that movie made the list.

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