February 9th, 2005

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Self mock: The breakfast story

Well! This story was rejected by mock_the_stupid (who said "self-mocks really aren't all that funny") so I'll just post it here. IMO, those mods deserve to be mocked, based on this rejection and another one from a few days ago.


I was reminded of this episode just now, when I accidentally shook cayenne pepper onto my yogurt instead of cinnamon. (Luckily I only put on a little and realized quickly what I'd done, and managed to scrape off the hot stuff.)

The Breakfast Story

Set-up: I'm 17 and spending the summer in Germany. I'm living with the parents of an exchange student our family had hosted earlier. The summer has been great. One especially nice thing is that my "mom" and "dad" provide really great meals, including breakfast. However, one day I wake up and for some reason decide to fix myself my own breakfast. (Maybe they were both out when I woke up, I'm not sure.)

I go into the kitchen and decide to make some cereal. Usually Germans will eat something like rolls or bread with cheese and cold cuts for breakfast, and I enjoy that, but the family had bought some corn flakes, and I decided that would be easier to put together, plus I didn't know what cheese I could use. Anyway, I get out the bowl, fill it with cereal, then find the milk. I pour it out and glomp! I realize it's gone a bit bad. I taste it and it's rather unpleasant.

At this point I should have just been like "OK, forget it, there's no milk," but nooooo, here's the stupid.

Feeling like I shouldn't waste my nice guest family's food, I decided that maybe if I just put a lot of sugar on the cereal / rotten milk combo, I could save it. So I find a sugar bowl and dumb on a couple of spoonfuls. I give it a taste to see if sweetening it worked and discover I've just put salt on my cereal!

At this point I should have just...

But, no, I didn't stop! I saw something that looked like hot chocolate mix and reasoning that it would be sweet, I put it on the cereal. Turns out it was cocoa. Unsweetened.

At this point I did stop.

I swear, I actually test very high in logic skills but I think possibly somebody had flipped a switch or something that morning. I wound up tossing the bowl of horrors and eating toast and butter for breakfast instead.
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Bush, blacks, GOP, homophobia...

Bush calls for end of racism
"As I said in my inaugural address, we cannot carry the message of freedom and the baggage of bigotry at the same time."

Later in that same speech, he probably urged that same crowd of black leaders into supporting his beloved Constitutional amendment against same sex marriage.

Speaking of which, syndicated columnist Leonard Pitts had a GREAT article on the subject of blacks and the GOP:

Beware GOP's move to build a black alliance
Let me point out something that ought to be obvious: Social conservatism has never been a friend to black people. And here, I am not talking about the conservatism of small government, low taxes and strong defense. Rather, I refer to the self-appointed defenders of so-called traditional values.

I'm so glad the Atlanta paper runs Leonard Pitts.
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Animal Experiments @ Home

Well, seeing as they ARE guinea pigs and all, I've been having some fun with my little fuzzies lately, running some behavioral/training experiments on them. It's given me a glimpse of how the little critters think and it's definitely fun to observe them, noting if they're doing what you think they'll do -- or doing something else entirely!

My "Candy Candy Candy" experiment just took an interesting turn.

I had a box of these piggy treats called Rings and rather than just put them in their bowl, I decided to do a bit of behavioral work. I would pick up the box, shake it a bit, then say (in a cute "pet" voice), "Candy Candy Candy!" Shaking a few Rings into my hand, I'd crouch down by the cage and offer the treats by hand, just sitting there in my palm. I noticed right away that Abbie would come up to me and grab the treats, but YinYang was really standoffish. Even if I moved my hand to where she was, she would sniff the food but hardly ever take anything. For Abbie the Rings were like cookies though!

Anyway, as a result of shaking the box and doing the voice announcement, I trained the pigs so now when do those things, I observe Abbie anticipating something coming; she sort of braces herself in a corner, ready for the treat. When I put my hand in, she comes right over and gets it. Even YinYang has gotten into the routine a bit, since she knows that I always leave some Rings in the food bowl and Ms. Stuck-up-and-won't-eat-from-your-hand eats it later sometimes.

As for the "interesting turn," it happened when I changed treats. The Rings ran out and I haven't been able to find any more so I got Loftys, made by the same company. I thought the pigs wouldn't know the difference but they do! The first time I offered it, they came up to my hand and basically reacted with "What's this?" Abbie did take one finally but even she was resistant. I tried some more and it didn't work as well, so I found a hand a few more Rings and did that. They ran right over and ate them.

Well, tonight it was Loftys turn again. I shook the box, called, and made Abbie all excited. But when I put my hand in with the offering, Abbie ran up, sniffed them, and looked all confused. She kept looking and sniffing, like she was looking for something and couldn't find it. She even moved around looking under my hand, from different angles, then put her nose in the air smelling. I kept saying the "magic words" but she couldn't find the Rings! She finally stuck her nose in the cuff of my bathrobe, looking for the precious candy. LOL. Finally she took one. YinYang meanwhie was also running around looking for the treats that weren't there.

Hopefully I'll start a new association and next time I get Rings I'll have to train them to associate them. This is fun!
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