March 8th, 2005

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More on smoking

So the other day I posted a rant about smoking bans, something I know some people reading this don't agree with. Well, today I'm posting another opinion piece, only it's not from me, but from the paper, and it's AGAINST the ban. The column reads like a parody actually but I *think* it's serious.

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My favorite line in this is: Traditionally, smoking bans have been all the rage in far-off places run by crackpot leftists and health nuts and statist do-gooders, places like New York City and California. LOL. Oh, and Cuba is considering a ban, too, and Georgia wouldn't want to be like those Communists, right? I think this entire piece was actually written by Archie Bunker.

And yes, call me a member or "the liberal media" if you want, because I really don't care.
  • Current Mood
    annoyed annoyed
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OK, I own up

I am stubborn.

adj. stubborner, stubbornest

a. Unreasonably, often perversely unyielding; bullheaded.
b. Firmly resolved or determined; resolute. See Synonyms at obstinate.

2. Characterized by perseverance; persistent.

3. Difficult to treat or deal with; resistant to treatment or effort: stubborn soil; stubborn stains.
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Another Dad update

So my dad is (fingers crossed) coming home Thursday! Finally!

Just chatted online with Mom, who gave me some further updates:

  • She's set up a new bedroom / recovery room, using my old twin beds, in the dining room downstairs. There will be a visiting nurse and continued therapy.
  • The dining room rug is in my old bedroom.
  • My parents' double-bed is in my old bedroom, Mom thinks she might make that permanet. (Meanwhile, what she's doing with her old bedroom I have no idea. Probably going to use it as a huge closet or "mess room," knowing her.)
  • Mom is thinking of putting the dining room upstairs.
  • Mom is painting the living room.

Meanwhile Mom was telling me how much snow there's been this winter up in Massachusetts. She has to plan her visits to the hospital around it. She had to shovel the drivway 3x and snowblow it once last week! I like snow, but yuck.
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I'm still mulling over the whole depression issue. Ironically, I've been thinking that overall I'm a lot luckier than some people. For example, even when I'm as deep in the hole as can be, I never feel hopeless or that my future is bad or that I want to kill myself. Also, I don't do anything self-destructive to myself like massively drinking or doing drugs or gambling.

I think a large part of why I'm able to avoid all these things is that throughout the episdodes I have, there is always a part of my brain that is operating normally, watching everything clinically and having the rational knowledge that: a) things will get better, b) overall my life situation and prospects are good, c) suicide has no appeal whatsoever, and d) getting f'd up will only lead to a) and b). I know that if I just wait it out, eventually the gargoyle will get off of me and I will be all optimistic, cheery, creative again.

What's bothering me lately is that the moments I can say "I'm good" don't seem to come as often. I spend a lot of time just hovering above being upset, hoping I don't tip the other way and find myself down the hole again. The moments of being what I think of as "me" seem so fleeting. I don't like being a morose, lethargic whiner -- I want to be productive, sparkling, energetic, with some snarky comments thrown in but not dominating me. That's why everything seems so wrong; problem is all-encompassing, so I can't get my hands around the edges of it to deal with it.

Still not firm decision on what I'm going to do. As a person who tends to throw obstacles in her own way, I've come up with so many excuses with why I haven't gone and talked to some sort of professional about this, even once. People -- lots of you reading this -- have encouraged me to do so, practically told me to RUN for help, but I just keep (metaphorically) standing here.
  • Current Mood
    depressed depressed
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It's too cliche, everybody does it, it's overdone, but... I cannot resist...

W T F?
It amazes me any child would get NEAR such a creature!
Do they think he's a clown?
  • Current Mood
    shocked shocked