I don't know WTF I'm doing today and that's the truth.
The THING is still here.
It's very difficult to accomplish anything when I'm trapped in this mood. My goal today was to do 10 things on my daily agenda. So far I have done 5 1/2.
- updated proposal on TSW web site
- researched search engine keywords for Halderson
- spent 1/2 hour cleaning out email
- set up appt. for electrical co. to install my ceiling light
- set up vet. appt. for guinea pigs
- registered my air purifier
That's a rather pathetic list :(
Meanwhile I just got a call from Creative Loafing from the woman who needs to take pictures of my house. She's coming Thursday morning. I kind of wish another time was possible since it'll make me late for work, but oh well. If I don't get the picture done the story won't run before the Tour of Lofts, which would suck for publicity.
Decided to catalog the symptoms of The Thing:
- avoidance of work
- difficulty concentrating
- taking a long time to complete simple tasks
- tendency to give up really easily
- tendency to make mistakes in work
- lack of interest in most things
- barrage of negative, repeating thoughts
- can't appreciate all the good in my life
- feeling of "numbness"
- don't care how I look
- don't want to go out
- face is hot
- bad headache (often, though not always)
- occasional crying
By contrast, here's is how I feel when I'm in what I consider a good mood:
- detail oriented
- optimistic, full of plans
- do not notice fatigue
- dress extra well
- forgiving, easy-going
- like to go shopping, give people presents
Mainly for me the big difference is that in one mode I can do stuff and in the other it's like sometimes is keeping me from doing stuff, whether it's carry out work tasks, write, plan positively for the future, go out, etc.