November 4th, 2005

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I was having the coolest, weirdest dream when Luckie woke me up by crashing the birdcage. Aaargh! This time the cage didn't open, thanks to the clamps I'd put on it to keep it from splitting apart. However, the front lip of the cage broke off. Safety-wise, this is fine, but now seeds, feathers and other stuff is going to be falling onto the floor. If I had that nest egg I talked about not having in that newspaper article, I would get them a new cage and stand.
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Attack of the Zzzzzs

I feel like I have been sleeping through every day. It's the same thing, day after day: Sleep 'til 8 or 9, lot of trouble getting out of bed, manage to stay upright for 'til around 10:30 or 11, then get very groggy and kerfuddled. Things get better by 1 and by 3 or 4, I'm clearing up. I'm totally fine after dark and probably my sharpest and most awake at like 10! Then I stay up 'til around 1, take my pill and go to bed. I don't know what the deal is.

Could it really just be the pill that is making me soooooo tired? My head feels like it's half-asleep sometimes and it takes the whole day for it to wake up. While it's nice to have cat naps with Luckie, it's frustrating to have a list of things to do and keep falling asleep!

My next checkup with my doctor is in early December. He's the one who told me to take the pill at night instead of in the morning, to reduce my daytime naps, and I need to tell him the plan is backfiring. I certainly prefer being sleepy to being depressed, but just like depression, this exhaustion is taking its toll on my productivity. Of course, if I tell him this, I'm afraid he will want to switch the medication or something.

I also need to talk to my doctor about the dizzy spells. Those have been happening since before I started on the medication.
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I loathe both Georgia's senators, but recently I signed up for Sen. Isakson's weekly newsletter so I could see what the slimeball was up to. I swear, it's like a weekly reminder from him saying, "I am doing exactly what you, my constituent, do NOT want me to be doing."

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I can't say I'm against every single thing he mentions as "a good thing," but most of them!

This is the total opposite of my U.S. Rep., John Lewis, who I ordinarily agree with 100%.
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&#@*7%! computers

I'm still slogging through network problems :( I got some help from versailles_rose's son Chris, which let me set permissions on my Win2K desktop, and now my laptop will connect to it, but when I click on the "share" I set up, it says, "Ut uh!" Damn. On top of this, my Outlook inbox got corrupted *again* and I've having to repair it so I can get at my email. Joy. All I want to do is fix the network, clean up my email, and switch machines. But I think it will be a few days still.
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More Grumpiness

Boy, great Friday night! Been sitting here for a couple of hours running scans on my desktop trying to make sure it doesn't have something or other, all the while reaching for the end goal of getting Outlook working again. I hope that program works better on my new machine, as it's cut out on me way too often over the years. One should not know the procedure for locating and renaming .DAT files by heart or have a desktop shortcut for the PST Inbox Repair Tool!
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On the bright side...

Back in the day Caleb and I used to have a nightly ritual we called PLJ (pronounced "pledge"), the acronym for "Peace, Love and Joy." Every night before bed we would like down and go back and forth listing the bits of PLJ in our lives. We weren't allowed to speak of the "Turbulence, Hatred and Depression" in our lives. The idea was to think positive thoughts before bedtime and to appreciate the good things.

Anyway, that background over with, here is my PLJ for this week:

  • Got my new laptop and all its components.
  • Luckie, wonderful as ever.
  • Piggies especially socially. YinYang snuggled with me and Abbie now comes when I call.
  • Was featured in the paper and seen by lots of people.
  • Got 2 solid jobs as result of exposure, potential for one more.
  • Paid myself on 1st of the month.
  • Luke the greengrocer sold me some wonderful tasting plums.
  • Enjoyed a night at Atlantic Station with Caleb.
  • Got a new purse via eBay.
  • Saw a great ghost show on Discovery Channel.
  • Watched the movie Frailty, which was excellent.
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Friday Five:

1. What are you most self-conscious about?

How people perceive me.

2. What's your favourite word?


3. What's your biggest fear?

Going insane to the point I don't know what's real or fake.

4. What's the weirdest thing ever to happen to you at work/school?

Um... That is a VERY difficult question! Just to be totally random, I will say the time my college Latin professor called me into the hall prior to a big test and told me that he knew I would get 100 so instead of bothering with that, I should run an errand for him. I remember leaving the building, walking across campus thinking how surreal it all was.

5. If you were going to have a revolution, what kind of society would you create?

One where people are far more in touch with the built-in abilities and strengths of humans, and those of the natural world, instead of relying on technology, dominance, mediated communication, etc.
  • Current Mood
    thoughtful thoughtful
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In Computer Hell

I have been sitting here trying to fix my Outlook for 6 HOURS. I am so ready to kill somebody. I have done the same dozen fixes 10 dozen times but it keeps going into Not Responding mode. Loathe as I am to attempt it, I probably will have to reinstall the program tomorrow, first saving my mail of course so I can reimport it. I've thought of just setting up Outlook on my laptop and importing the thing, just forget about it, but it BOTHERS me. Plus I still can't get my laptop to connect to my desktop ANYWAY, so have no real way of moving the file over, as it's HUGE. And meanwhile I can't get at any of my email except what's still on the server. There are several urgent things I'm supposed to do but, ah well, can't access the emails.

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Adding to my foul mood

This article by Maureen Dowd on the state of women today and, specifically, whatever happened to feminist ideals, is great but infuriating.

What's A Modern Girl To Do?

I can't recommend this article highly enough to women, whatever your age and POV!

I was waiting for some horrible computer scan to be done or else I wouldn't have taken the time to read it. By the end I was shouting at the screen, I was so goddamn angry. I pretty much think there is no point in bothering with men if you have to pretend to be dumber, poorer, less independent, etc. than you really are. I've often been told I am too unbending and it freaks people out. Well, tough shit. If I guy is intimidated by the fact I feel no reason to bow down to him because he's a man, well, OK, fine, go away, man, don't need any of THAT. I am willing to deal with a man on equal terms, understanding there are differences. But I don't change myself to be any kind of ideal just because it's a typical biological imperative. I find somebody who takes me as me or I'm alone. And I'm alone, or at least without a man ;) Stubborn, aren't I?

Some esp. irritating facts and quotes:

In 1990, 23 percent of college-educated women kept their own names after marriage, while a decade later the number had fallen to 17 percent.

A 2005 report by researchers at four British universities indicated that a high I.Q. hampers a woman's chance to marry, while it is a plus for men. The prospect for marriage increased by 35 percent for guys for each 16-point increase in I.Q.; for women, there is a 40 percent drop for each 16-point rise.

After I first wrote on this subject, a Times reader named Ray Lewis e-mailed me. While we had assumed that making ourselves more professionally accomplished would make us more fascinating, it turned out, as Lewis put it, that smart women were "draining at times."

I don't get it. Really. Obviously parents raised me far too well.