June 3rd, 2006

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"Macho" Health & Beauty Tips

Because I could have gone into magazine work, like working for Elle, but didn't, I now have to make up my own list of beauty tips. Fortunately for you, these are sensible, practical tips that don't involve heading to a dept. store to buy some miraculous potion. In fact, they use really common items and are kind of "macho" beauty tips.

1. The Clean Nails Trick
If you're in the bath and shower and notice your fingernails really dirty, you can get them totally clean very easily -- just take a bar of soap (Ivory works well) and scratch at it with all your fingers and both thumbs so the soap gets under the nails. Then go ahead with your regular bath/shower routine, soaping, shampooing, etc. By the time you're done, the soap will have come out from under the nails on its own and your fingernails will be all clean.

2. Cold Sore Cure
My mom taught me this: If you have a cold sore, take a little dried milk, mosten it up a tad to make a thick paste, and put it on. Let it dry out. Do this 2-3 times and the cold sore will heal up. I believe the milk sucks up the crap. In any case, I used to do this all the time as a teenager and it was very effective.

3. For Calloused, Grody Feet
Are your feet so bad that a pumice stone just doesn't work? Well, another way to "exfoliate" in a big way. Take a bath or shower, an extra long one, 'til your feet get soft. Then take a shaving razor -- a cheap, disposable one will do -- and just gently go over the callouses. You don't want to shear off the skin, you really just scrape it gently. Works great. Just make sure you keep cleaning out the razor or it'll get stopped up.

4. Quick Eyebrow Fix
I really hate plucked eyebrows, but I sometimes like to thin mine out just a tad, removing hair ready to come out, and doing it randomly so there isn't any "shaping." It's easy: Take some scotch tape and put it over your eyebrow, then pull it off. Obviously the weaker the tape, the less comes off, so I recommend just normal tape you'd use with wrapping paper. And only do it once.

5. To Stop the Itch
Whether it's a rash, chafing, bug bites, hemorroids, or whatever, if it "burns," try putting alcohol on it. It will hurt like HELL, but once you've done it, bam, pain is gone. This is esp. true when you're talking hemorroids. And who taught me this? Caleb, who claims his grandmother Kay suggested it to him.

I guess I've probably given bad advice somewhere in here, but do the magazines guarantee perfection either?
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From thefridayfive - The 80s

1) Favourite movie of the 1980s?
Wings of Desire

2) Favourite musician/group of the 1980s?
Depeche Mode

3) Favourite TV show of the 1980s?
Alien Nation

4) Favourite invention of the 1980s?
The PC. (OK, it might've been earlier, but that's when actual regular people got them.)

5) World Event from the 1980s that stands out in your mind?
Challenger disaster.
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Car Nightmare

Every once in a while, I have a bad dream where I'm driving a car -- usually through crazy traffic, in a hurry, while I struggle with the idea that "Aaaaaaaaaaah! I'm driving! How did this happen?"

Last night I had a new car nightmare: I dreamed I had a car and took it to the shop to get something minor like floor mats, and found out it needed major work. The guy there quotes me like $2,500. I'm like, "Do I really need that? Are you ripping me off? Because I've never had a car before, I have no idea." I think I decided to leave the car at the shop rather than pay.

Meanwhile, now that I have a subsidized MARTA pass from work, I've calculated I will only spend like $250/year on transportation. I used to spend around $600. The average yearly cost of owning and operating a car has long been quoted as $6000/year but it's more now, due to gas prices. So bwahahahahaah I say. $6000 is like 10 plane trips to Europe in the off season.
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Flying Pig

For the first time ever, one of my guinea pigs fell off the kitchen table. Actually, I shouldn't say fell as much as jumped! Not really to my surprise, YinYang is perfectly fine -- landed on her feet/belly and walked off under the side table like it was nothing. She is really well padded! Apparently she was getting restless sitting on the table after being groomed, so as soon as my back was turned she decided that the table really isn't that much higher than the second floor of the cage (only 2 feet higher) so, hey, why not jump? Piggies reportedly have poor depth perception so it could be that, too.
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Cleaning Break

Taking a brief break from an afternoon of cleaning. Doing a THOROUGH job on the main room, including sweeping and vacuuming under furniture, which only happens a few times a year, lazy slob that I am. I also cleaned out the "pet cabinet" and the rack beside it, reorganizing my not insignificant amount of pet supplies. I'm about to get to the kitchen and plan to clean inside the fridge and cabinets, where hopefully I can locate the home of the dozens of miller moths who are still infesting my home after arriving here last July in a bag of barley. Luckie and I keep killing them and I thought I had secured all the grains, but they're living somewhere in the cabinets, and I'm determined to get them out.

Meanwhile, been watching and listening to 80s music videos -- all on VHS, for extra retro action. So far I've done Madonna's Immaculate Collection and Siouxsie and the Banshies Twice Upon a Time. I think next will be Depeche Mode's Some Good Videos, although I watched that one recently so maybe I'll drag out Def Leppard for really old times sake.

UPDATE: So, didn't take out Def Leppard, but I did take out ABBA Gold. Cheez-o-rama! Though I still like Erasure's version of "Money Money Money" better, overall, very entertaining.
  • Current Music
    Last song on Siouxsie video
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ice cream

La vie est bonne

Well, I did it! The main room is CLEAN. Took a total of about 6 hours, but tada, 'tis done!

Meanwhile I managed to watch 3 tapes of music videos, plus LotR: Return of the King, and cook a super delicious dish of quinoa-stuffed peppers and a bowl of Jell-O!

Life is good.

--

And just now Caleb called, just landed. I haven't mentioned it here, but he's been in Rhode Island the past week for the annual CNU conference since Monday. And I haven't seen him since a day or two before I went up to Boston, so we haven't seen each other in a week and a half! The only other time I can think of since we've gone that long without seeing each other -- excepting college breaks -- was I think three years ago when he and Daniel drove up to Vermont one summer.
  • Current Mood
    accomplished accomplished
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