October 11th, 2006

sideview, obamame_sideview

National Coming Out Day Meme

Yup, today is National Coming Out Day , and to go along with that...

1. At what age did you first "come out" (did someone come out to you)?
19, right after graduating high school. Came out to myself that summer and to others starting that summer and on to fall at college.

2. Who was the first person you came out to and why did you choose this person (who was it that first came out to you and why do you think they chose you)?
Pretty sure it must've been Marialana (dharmagirl), my best friend. I recall sending her a letter at some point a few weeks after I'd figured it out, and there were several secrets I unloaded on her.

3. How did you feel overall about the process of coming out at that time (what do you think about lgbt people having to "come out")?
I felt pretty OK with it, but only for people OUTSIDE my family. My attitude from the first was that any friends I had, or wanted to have, would be accepting, or else they weren't really friends I wanted to have. And as it turns out, I don't think I've ever lost a friendship because of my sexual orientation.

4. Who was the easiest person to come out to (how might you be an easy person to come out to)?
Probably Caleb and Kristina, but after that it was probably my hallmates on the all-queer dorm. Tough crowd, LOL. I've also found it much, MUCH easier to come out to anybody and everybody online.

5. Who was the hardest person to come out to (how might you be a difficult person to come out to)?
My parents.

Although since then I've also found it next to impossible to effectively come out to coworkers or even some of my neighbors. I've done it a couple of times, but most of the time I simply do that whole sort of ambiguous/asexual thing I tend to do when I just don't want to get into it. I don't know why it's so damn difficult but it is. Not like they don't already think I'm a weirdo, for other reasons!

6. What was the best reaction you received (what was the best reaction your friend/family member/etc received)?
My dad, who told me there was nothing I could ever do or ever be that would make him or Mom stop loving me, and that I shouldn't worry about disappointing them or upsetting them.

7. What was the worst reaction you received (what was the worst reaction your friend/family member/etc received)?
My sister Betty saw fit to more or less hold me hostage at her house once and lecture/harrass me for like an hour about how I was moving to the queer dorm, how I was doing all this to draw attention to myself, etc. She kept up this crap for a couple of years, butting in where she wasn't wanted and overreacting to stuff, e.g. the time she accused me of leaving out the Shocking Grey catalog to "pervert minors" (my nieces and nephews).

8. Since coming out, how do you feel about continually coming out to people or being out to everyone these days (When other people make disparaging remarks about gay people, what do you do/say)?
I think that I've actually, and sadly, gotten a lot WORSE about coming out to people. Perhaps it's the fact that I don't date or have a partner or do a ton of "gay" things, so there's no reason I'd have to bring up the subject directly. I've had a lot of gay coworkers and neighbors, and I make it clear I'm part of the "family," so to speak, but I'm so indirect about it, it's pretty weird. Some self-examination is called for I guess.

9. Who still doesn't know about your sexuality (is there anyone in your life you suspect of being gblt that hasn't come out)?
A lot of my neighbors and past coworkers don't know per se, but I would bet that 9/10 think I'm a lesbian and the other 10th think I'm secretly a professional dom.

10. What advice do you have for people about coming out?
Unless you're underage and it could endanger you, come out. It's my experience, based on my own life and others', that most of the time the reaction you get is much, much better than you expect. I know I thought the sky was going to cave in on me, but nope, most people either didn't care or were totally positive.

P.S. for straight people: If you want to take the survey, too, just answer what's in the parenthesis.

Egyptian Cat

It's cool enough that Luckie often strikes poses that make her look like some kind of Egyptian cat statue, especially since she has the right proportions, but right now she's curled up on the windowsill using a carved Egyptian scarab paperweight as some sort of pillow. Cooooool.
sideview, obamame_sideview

Halloween 1974

THIS was what I was looking for:

1. Google for Hallowe'en plus your year of birth
2. Post the most disturbing picture you can find.
3. Recoil in horror.

What's funny? This was from a page of all kinds of stuff going on a Coast Guard base or something.
sideview, obamame_sideview

My building online... well, almost

It's not launched on with its own domain and hosting yet, but my building's web site is at least online for preview:


I started the site build-out months ago and then kept pushing it aside in favor of other projects, because while it is a paid project, it was for my neighbors, who are basically friends and kept telling me it was no rush.