July 30th, 2007

firstgrade

Sunday Skool

Three obscure but true stories from my Sunday School days.

Be Fruitful and Multiply
Besides the regular classrooms, our church had a nursery for babies and young kids. There were all kinds of cool toys and I'd go there to play even when I was old enough for regular classes. Anyway, I remember one day I was in there and found this new Noah's Ark play set. There was an Ark and of course two of every animal. So I'm in there playing for a while and Mom walks in, ready to take me home, and finds I've arranged all the animals so they're humping and was struggling to get two buffalos to line up correctly. I think I was around five. Obviously somebody watched too much PBS.

But... Mom!
My mom often served as a Sunday School teacher. One time she was handling a class that was probably for first and second graders. I was still in Readiness class, "Readiness" being an extra grade my school had for kids who'd gone through kindergarten but not "ready" for first grade, but I'd been put into this class, with Mom as the teacher. Well, we were doing some craft activities, something with making stone walls out of construction paper, and I was having some "interaction issues," shall we say... which would be why I wasn't actually *in* first grade. And Mom kicked me out of class! Yes, my own mother had me demoted to the lower grade "kindergarten" class. I was stunned!

You Think I'm Gullible, Don't You?
As part of above-mentioned kindergarten Sunday School class, we kids were all in a circle on the floor and the teacher was giving us cookies and "star juice." She was spinning this story about how the juice in our Dixie cups had been squeezed from the stars and that's why it was so pure and good. I would have none of this: "It's just WATER!" The teacher insisted it was star juice, to maintain her credibility, but it was water.
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The Friday 5 - Stuff

1. What item would you be embarrassed for people to know you own?
If I'm embarrassed why would I post it here?

2. What is something you splurged on just for you?
I think the past three years or so would qualify as one large splurge.

3. What is something that you own with no real world value that is priceless to you?
All my writings from public school.

4. Do you collect anything?
Royal Mail pattern Staffordshire china. I have a rather self-indulgent china cabinet I bought just to house the collection.

5. What item belonging to a friend/family member do you covet?
My mom has Oma's fabulous arm chairs and matching octagonal table. I'm sure I won't be the child who inherits it, however.
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Aches and pains

Lately I've been feeling pretty crappy. Not mentally -- mentally I actually am feeling markedly better -- but physically. So often I feel like I'm aching or sweating or itchy or bleeding from head to toe and I wonder, does everybody feel this crappy or is it just me?

For example, when I wake up in the morning I feel like somebody filled my nose with Silly String, conked me on the head with a hammer, slipped me some Nyquil, stuck one of those spit-suckers the dentists use in my mouth for hours, then wrestled me in my sleep. I mean, seriously, on Sunday morning when I woke up at Caleb's, I sat up and immediately fell back down on the bed, I felt that bad. I thought maybe it was just my own house making me sick, but no.

Meanwhile my right hip has been bothering me for months and months now, to the point when I get off the shuttle in the morning, I have to hold the railing and hobble out like I'm 80. It started when I was running at my old gym and I stopped running and it faded off, but it's back again some days it's really bad. I think the nerve by my joint is getting pinched somehow. It's OK when I'm walking (good since I walk everywhere) but awful when I'm doing stairs or steps or anything.

Some of this has got to be from having gained weight and putting undue strain on my body. Some of it also me skipping my allergy meds since March or so, which hasn't resulted in any acute symptoms but is probably resulting in a sinus infection, with my luck. And some of it from this awful summer weather, which never agrees with me and brings on mosquitoes and other creatures that bite me. My morning symptoms are probably the most bothersome; that might be sleep apnea but I'm really not sure. I just can't imagine that the rest of the world wakes up with a headache!
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