July 8th, 2008

rainingmen

Crappy Books

Here are a few of the crappiest books I've ever read. And my "read," I mean finished all or most of.

First, books that are pure crap. Notably, all four are books I only picked up b/c Outworlders book group gave them a chance. I mean, we want to try and read some queer genre fic, right? Well, OK, maybe not so indiscriminately.

Vampire Vow
by Michael Schiefelbein
Lousy, rather offensive gay vampire novel, almost novella. Winner (in my mind) of most memorable (albeit terrible) opening lines:

I wanted Jesus. That's how it started. Yes, the Jesus they built a religion on, the one they say rose from the dead. (I should be the last one to doubt that.)

I often misquote this as "I loved Jesus. No, I LOVED Jesus." But it sounds better that way and cuts to the chase: the story's about a guy who had a huge boner for the real life Jesus and later, when he becomes a vampire, remains obsessed with him.

On Azrael's Wings
by D. Jordan Redhawk
Self-published lesbian fantasy / romance novella. The plot summary alone should give away the badness: Vicious, violent princess soldier slaughters villages on behalf of her king-brother, saves on woman to be her body slave, falls in instant love/obsession, ends up killing the king and being banished to live with her girlfriend for ever and ever.

A Face Withouth A Heart
by Rick Reed
Modern "reimagining" of Picture of Dorian Grey, except not really, since it shows no imagination. Or wit. Or art.

Collapse )
ice cream

Fluid Intake

One of the odder thefridayfive's...

1. What drink wakes you up best in the morning?

I don't drink this anymore, but the absolute best thing is this 1000-watt frozen coffee drink this coffee place on Luckie St. used to offer: espresso, chocolate syrup, sweetened condensed milk, 1/3-1/2 cup ground chocolate covered espresso beans, and ice. This would keep me "revved" for 4-5 hours. It probably had like 800 calories, but that never occurred to me at the time.

2. During the day, what do you drink to keep going?

I drink a lot of Diet Coke (usually 2-3), but not really to keep awake, because it doesn't seem to do that. I can fall asleep *while* drinking it, after all. I feel like it's the cold bubbliness that perks me up more than the caffeine.

At night and on weekends I drink milk, esp. when it's hot out. B/c milk to me is the most refreshing drink there is.

3. Do you drink the recommended 8 glasses of water per day? Why/why not?

About 1% of the time. A couple of time a week I will manage to drink the whole liter-bottle I keep at my desk but not every day and it's still not 8 glasses. I do drink at least one big glass of milk a day though.

4. What are the ingredients of your favorite mixed drink? (Doesn't have to be alcoholic!)

Rum + Something Sweet.

The End

5. Are you a coffee drinker? How do you take your coffee, if so?

Nowadays I have either no coffee or one regular hot coffee a day and I don't think it does a think to wake me up. I just find it comforting. Normally I put some kinder of milk/creamer and either Equal or Splenda as a sweetener. If I want to get a buzz of any kind, I have to have it doctored it up a lot, with chocolate syrup, sugar and other fun stuff. It's the sugar that gets me, I think, not the caffeine.

Although OMG, the "regular" coffee you get in Germany and Italy is strong enough to grow hair on your chest as well...
  • Current Mood
    chipper chipper
  • Tags