October 13th, 2008

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Hundreds of Flies Found Dead in Apparent Mass Suicide

Authorities in Wendy's apartment are reporting the discovery of what appears to be a mass suicide on the part of hundreds of fruit flies. The flies were found drowned in six different glasses, each covered with perforated plastic wrap and filled with a mixture of cider vinegar, maple syrup, and guinea pig feces. Each drowning site held approximately a hundred fly corpses. Authorities initiated a clean-up operation, emptying out the sites and pouring them into a sealed glass container, designed to serve as a temporary morgue. Afterward all the glasses were refreshed with their original contents, albeit free of corpses. Authorities did not make any mention of a suicide note.